


delivery man leslie  visits their south downs cottage

by wobblebobble



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, Leslie and Maud get a happy ending, M/M, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23538970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wobblebobble/pseuds/wobblebobble
Summary: Our friend Leslie the international express delivery man makes an appearance. Also, Crowley doesn’t want neighbors and Leslie uncomfortably watches them politely argue about it in front of him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	delivery man leslie  visits their south downs cottage

**Author's Note:**

> did I do a ridiculous amount of research on exotic plants for this? yes. was it necessary? no.  
> was it procrastination? also yes.

The first thing the delivery man noticed about the cottage was the garden. It was the biggest, most beautiful garden he had ever seen. It had flowers that shouldn’t even be in season, and some from all over the world. His mind vaguely wondered why, but he promptly forgot about it. After all, he had a job to do. He hefted the package up higher on his hip and walked down the path.  
The delivery man couldn’t help but notice the immaculate lawn care, as well. Not a single weed to be found, and not a blade of grass on the walkway. Huh, he thought. Must take a miracle to keep grass that neat. But it wasn’t a miracle. Crowley spent hours upon hours in his garden. Although he did miracle up plants that weren’t supposed to exist in Europe, like hibiscus and angel’s trumpets. They added a nice pop of color next to the ferns and various herbs Aziraphale used for cooking.  
The man knocked on the door with his elbow, trying not to drop the large package and clipboard. As he stood waiting for someone to answer, he looked at the cottage around him. One of the things Leslie loved most about his job was seeing the world and all it had to offer. This cottage was especially lovely; he would even describe it as idyllic. It was right on the water and had a very peaceful feeling to it - the refreshing salty air, slow lapse of waves on the shore, breeze gently ruffling the long grasses around the property. He took a deep breath and smiled. He would like to live here.  
The delivery man realized that he had been waiting for the door to be opened for quite some time now. Suddenly he heard a yell from inside. “Coming!”  
The door opened abruptly. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting dear boy, I was a bit preoccupied.” Aziraphale noticed the box. “Oh, our package finally came, Crowley!”  
He appeared in the doorway, leaning over Aziraphale’s shoulder. “It’s about time.”  
“Be nice.” Aziraphale chastised. “He’s come all the way out here just for us.”  
The delivery man held out his clipboard and pen. “Just need a signature here, sir. And might I say, this is a lovely cottage you’ve got here. I would love to have a place of my own here someday.” He sighed softly, wistfully looking around again. “My wife Maud and I love this area. We vacation here sometimes, when we are able to.” He glanced at the ground briefly, trying not to show his shame. They didn’t have a lot of money, so their vacations were few and far between.  
Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other and Crowley raised an eyebrow and shook his head the tiniest amount. He was trying to communicate that he didn’t want any neighbors, but Aziraphale took it as it was Aziraphale’s turn to perform the miracle - Crowley wasn’t going to do it.  
Crowley reached over to sign for the package while Aziraphale told the delivery man about a cottage that had miraculously just gone up for sale nearby. “It’s a very low price for such a place, as well,” he added after Crowley glanced over at him, annoyed but trying not to show it in front of Leslie.  
“Oh, really?” The delivery man’s face lit up. “I’ll have to look into it. My wife loves the South Downs.”  
Aziraphale smiled amiably while Crowley’s face fell. All he wanted when they moved to their cottage was some peace and quiet. And alone time. But no, Aziraphale had to go and invite neighbors to move in. Great. Crowley side-eyed Aziraphale, who was blissfully unaware. Or maybe ignoring him. He couldn’t tell.  
“Aziraphale,” Crowley began, treading lightly, “doesn’t that house have termites? That’s why it’s so cheap. Why else would it be up for sale at such a low price?” He felt a little bad, Leslie was a nice guy, but Crowley wanted privacy.  
“Well, dear,” Aziraphale said through gritted teeth but still smiling, “the previous owner fixed the problem before he put it up for sale. Why would he sell it if it had termites?” He smiled at the delivery man, who was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Crowley was still holding onto the clipboard and Leslie didn’t want to interrupt what was clearly about to be an argument.  
But he tried anyways; he wanted to nip their disagreement in the bud. “I’ll just take that, then, sir,” he said, reaching for the clipboard.  
Crowley ignored him. “No, the owner didn’t fix it. Why would he fix it just to sell it? You’re remembering incorrectly.” Crowley turned to look at Aziraphale head-on. “The house is not for sale. There is no house. It burned down.”  
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. It’s almost like you don’t want neighbors.” Aziraphale smiled at Leslie, noticing he was a little uncomfortable.  
That’s exactly what I want, Crowley thought angrily. He glared the tiniest bit at Aziraphale, just enough to be noticed from behind his dark glasses. “Here,” he said, almost shoving the clipboard back at the delivery man. “I hope you get the house. Send my regards to your wife.” He went back inside.  
“Thank you, sir,” Leslie said, tipping his blue International Express cap to Crowley. “And to you sir, have a nice day. It’s beautiful outside.”  
Aziraphale agreed. “It is. Lots of space to go on walks or garden.” Aziraphale shut the door and turned to Crowley.  
“Why couldn’t you have let him move in? That was quite rude of you,” Aziraphale tutted as we went into the kitchen. “Tea?”  
“I’m sorry, angel, I just want some alone time for once. Some peace and quiet, is all.” Crowley went over to Aziraphale and took his hand, making puppy dog eyes at him.  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Dear, we can still have neighbors. It’s not like we’ll spend every waking minute with them. And they seem quite nice. It’ll be fine.” Aziraphale glance down at the floor, embarrassed. “I put the cottage far away. It’s not even that close.”  
Crowley laughed. “Of course you did. I knew it. Come on, let’s go on a walk. We didn’t move out here to stay inside.” They walked out the French doors into the picturesque countryside, hand in hand. They were out all night.  
Leslie looked around him as he walked back up the winding path to his van. He couldn’t help but feel like he had seen the two men before; it seemed like such an eccentric couple would be hard to forget but he couldn’t quite place them. Oh well, the delivery man thought. I suppose I could go look for that cottage. Doesn’t hurt to dream.  
He did find a cottage, although it was a bit far away from Crowley and Aziraphale’s. It was equally beautiful and peaceful, and had plenty of space for a nice outdoor patio as well. It looked brand new. He wrote down the address and made a mental note to tell Maud. She would love it out here. They could afford to repair some termite damage if need be. It was worth the view.  
Leslie and Maud did enjoy their life out in the South Downs. On a whim, they had bought a lottery ticket, just because. It was another dream - and it came true. They had said it was a miracle (it was). They won enough money for Leslie to retire and stay in the cottage with his wife, living their best life out in the countryside. After years of traveling the world, he gets his happy ending, all he ever wanted. Leslie was peaceful. On the rare occasion he ran into his neighbors (he usually saw them on walks after dinner, holding hands and walking slowly, just like himself and Maud), he thanked them for the recommendation and wished them well.  
“See,” Aziraphale would say, “neighbors are nice.”  
“Ngk,” Crowley would respond, but secretly he was glad that Leslie and Maud were happy. They deserved to finally be spending time together, and what better place than one filled with love.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading, i’m on tumblr at rocklobstering if you wanna see me over there!


End file.
